you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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