Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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