Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
