how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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