I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
