I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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