did you get engaged???
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize