I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
