Someone shit on the floor
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize