I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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