Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
