I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
