would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
