oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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