I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
