some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i dont even know how to be here
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
pray to the hookup gods
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
