i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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