Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize