I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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