wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
