Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize