My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize