There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im six kinds of drunk right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
