Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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