You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
