Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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