Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
