He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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