you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
