I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
