I just made out with a guy for $7.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
