it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
