dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
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