so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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