Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
