well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Let's get the cat blown out
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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