it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
