You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
