he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Holy sore nipples Batman
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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