"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
