it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I believe in your delicious
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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