is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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