Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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