There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dick very happy bro
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
