My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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