youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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