dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize