nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
