Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
