508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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