I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
