How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
