I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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