Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
