I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
