Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
