worst night to have a conscience
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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