I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
