This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
