i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
