I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
