I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
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