I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize