just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
