We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
