i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
