I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
