She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this just has baby written all over it
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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