You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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