i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
