After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
