you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize