I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
